Lessons Eddie Taught Us About Living and Dying With Cancer

I WAS STUNNED WHEN THE
school nurse told me one of my 4th graders, Eddie, had cancer. In the next few moments, everything I knew about this handsome, intelligent boy raced through my head. He loved chess, math, sports cars, drawing, the Buffalo Bills, the Yankees, and Nintendo. He'd become an important member of the class. After the school nurse finished talking, I got up, tripped on a the leg of a folding chair, went into the bathroom, and sobbed.That was in October. During the months that followed, I continued to teach him reading, writing, and other subjects. And he taught me and my class about love and courage.
Eddie spent weeks in and out of the hospital undergoing chemotherapy and radiation treatments. He hardly ever complained, although he often felt sick from the treatments. And he remained an eager student, even during the times I tutored him at his home.
Eddie always listened intently to my lessons. If he didn't understand something, he asked questions. At times I tried to encourage him to share his inner pain with me. One day as we sat in his bedroom writing a story about winter recreation in Rochester, and he wrote, "I don't go outside in the winter much because I have cancer." His head was bent down, and he seemed to be staring at the last word.
"That's a hard word to write, isn't it?" I asked him.
"No, it isn't, Mr. Sottile," Eddie answered. "I know how to spell cancer."
The other 4th graders respected Eddie. When he returned to school, they never mocked him because of his changed appearance. They saw that he'd lost his hair and had gotten thin, but they also saw the exceptional pride he took in his schoolwork, from his excellent handwriting to his perfect scores on chapter tests.
Eddie knew he had a serious illness, yet he was armed with a zest for life. By January, he was too weak to spend more than a few hours each day at school. But he loved being with his friends, telling them jokes, discussing the most recent Buffalo Bills game with them, and chasing them around during snack time. At 11:15 a.m., after snacks and some free time, Eddie would leave, and the class would yell on his way out in unison, "Good-bye, Eddie!" It sounded like a victory cheer, as if he'd scored the winning touchdown by sharing math, reading, and snack time with us.
Eddie wanted to be treated like any other 9-year-old. And that's how his classmates treated him, except when he left for the day. Then Eddie's father would pick him up right outside our classroom exit.
Near the end of May, Eddie experienced a major setback and was hospitalized. The class made cards for him, and his close friends stayed in touch by phone and with hospital visits. Eddie had a bone marrow transplant, but it wasn't the miracle everyone hoped for.
Accepting Eddie's death wasn't easy, but knowing him and seeing his courage touched all of our hearts. Mother Teresa once said, "We cannot do great things; only small things with great love."
Eddie did countless small things with great love. He was always the first to lend someone paper or a pencil. He eagerly shared his drawings of sports cars, his sense of humor, and his curiosity. My class and I know that Eddie was a giver. Each day he spent with us was a gift.
As young as Eddie was, in his heart he knew that what you do for yourself dies, and what you do for others lives forever. Although it has been a number of years since his passing, I treasure the memories of Eddie, especially the laughter, the chases, and his reverence for teachers.
Twenty-four hours before Eddie died Mr. Sottile was by Eddie's hospital bedside. He had one more question for his favorite teacher. Eddie asked him what Heaven was like. At that moment, Mr. Sottile asked the Holy Spirit to help him answer that question, and he did, which left a big smile on Eddie's face. Joe has written an eBook to help other kids, and his five grandkids. It's based on his experiences in school and at home: 101 SECRETS!, A Backpack of Inspiration and Hope for Tweens. It's a guide for kids for a happier and more purposeful life, now and in the future, http://booklocker.com/books/6026.html.
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